Gumbo pot- Reflections

I am writing this post as a reflection of my thoughts on some current global events / issues and some reading/listening that I have engaged in. This post is perhaps a continuation of my recent post on Feminism and what it means to be a Feminist.

I was reading/ listening to:

  • Women’s bodies, Women’s wisdom by Dr. Christiane Northrup
  • The Truth about Vaccines – This is a 7 part documentary series on the good/bad and the ugly related to Vaccines given to infants/children in the U.S.
  • The Yoga of Bhagavad Gita by Paramhansa Yogananda

Below are some of my ponderings/thoughts:

  • For any change to occur, we need more women to be aware, educated, in tune with their intuitive intelligence and more men to stand with these women.
  • If the chemicals being spread on Earth’s soil and the antibiotics/hormones given to cattle affect our health via food/water/air, then why assume that all vaccines given to babies are safe?
  • Shouldn’t I as an individual always have the ability to make a choice? What is freedom if not for the ability to make our own choices and be responsible for them?
  • Why do we believe more in pills and less in the intelligence of our bodies?
  • Any person/ medium/approach that thrives on you being fearful is not your friend.
  • We need to stand up to the Pharmaceutical industry much in the same way as we are seeing with the Pesticide and Food industry. Personal is indeed political.
  • If every single person only took responsibility for themselves including their physical, mental, emotional, relational health, that would be enough.
  • Authoritarian approaches that disallow freedom at any level need to be replaced with collaborative/consultative approaches.
  • Don’t simply follow practices/beliefs because ‘that’s how it has been’, ask why and be open to understanding.
  • It’s all connected. If it’s NOT OK for Syria to bomb its own people, it’s NOT OK for the government to issue mandates on what’s needed in my or my child’s body. Both are fundamentally related to human rights.
  • Don’t be a rebel for the sake of feeling powerful.
  • Let’s stop living in an illusion that we are separate from the Earth/Environment.
  • Invest more time/resources in improving the state of health instead of focusing on disease.

I will close it by saying; Let’s dream with our eyes wide open. Let it make us uncomfortable. Let’s feel it and then feel it again in every inch of our bodies. May we have no other choice but to move with it.

I would be eager to know if this stirs something in you.

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7 simple ways to enhance your Self Esteem

1)      Stop the harsh inner critic and make way for mistakes

  •  You do not need to be perfect for anybody. We let a lot of people influence our lives and believe it or not they become our inner voice. Sadly enough, not all of these are loving voices.

2)      Learn to say NO

  • Understand your emotional, physical and mental boundaries. Respect yourself enough to say NO to requests or assert your disagreement. People pleasing is one of the fastest ways to get into a vicious cycle of hurt, blame and burn out.

3)      ME time

Self love

Boston White Flower

  • Give yourself some time in a day/week where you engage in an activity that helps you recharge/rejuvenate. It could simply be an hour of listening to your favorite music, taking a walk, etc.

4)      Stay away from Toxic environments

  • You know it when a certain friend, relative does not mean well for you. Try and limit your time with such people and environments where you do not feel loved/respected.

5)      Reframing your criticisms

  • Find a way to reframe the critical remarks you subject yourself to into statements that are loving, affirmative and non-judgmental. For example: Criticism: I just cannot do anything right.  Counter this statement with a fact saying: This is not true since I was recently complimented at work for my presentation. Reframe: I am generally good at work and just need to improve on my report making skills.

6)      What’s in your goodie bag?

  • As you spend time collecting all the negative remarks, make an effort to identify atleast 3 good things to counter one negative remark. Any and all the compliments you have every received need to be respected. Learn to pat yourself when you have kept your calm during a stressful situation or kept your commitment towards ME time.

7) Enhance your inner dialogue using affirmations.

One of the easiest ways is to begin with using the stem ‘I am’ followed by any thing you wish to grow in yourself.Remember to repeat this as often as you can. No harm repeating the good stuff, right? We have enough of negatives coming our way and most of us aren’t kind to ourselves.

Ex: I am loved.

I am beautiful.

I am successful in achieving my goals.

I love my job.

The road to Loving and Respecting yourself begins with making room for understanding and accepting yourself with a kindness that you would extend to a friend or your child.

Happy Self Loving:)

Mind-Body connection: According to Energy Medicine, the third chakra  located in the solar plexus region governs self esteem issues, our comfort/discomfort with our personal power, choosing to blame or assume responsibility and move forward. It is yellow in color. The physical organs connected to the health of this chakra are liver, gall bladder, pancreas, diaphragm, spleen, stomach and kidneys.

Conflicts of a Wounded Inner Child…

Guess it is in my gene to just move out from any situation….While I was in my mother’s womb, she tried to run away from me by eating up an extra dose of sleeping pills. She was leading an unhappy life with her so called husband of 3 years when their attempts seeking some temporary pleasure, put my seed in to them. When I entered this world through what seemed like the strife from my past seven lives, I landed into a family which was happy to see me. Soon after I was exposed to my surroundings where people knew nothing but hatred towards my mother, all those small things that one’s in-laws are capable of doing to show down a girl who has married their son but does not seem to please them by whatever labour she puts in.

I was growing each day and getting nurtured in an environment which spelt nothing but indifference and neglect towards me, a poor little thing that was craving for his mother’s attention and she was too busy trying to appease the monsters of greed. Instead of love that I deserved, I earned these insecurities. Days went by and time passed adding on to the inches and flesh to my bodily growth. Situations only worsened between the two of my parents who could never reconcile. Having reached adolescence I was expected to sort out the case of two adults who were involved in physical assault. Alone I was with them in the house when they decided to wage a war against each other in that small world of 550 sq ft cemented walls. They were hitting each other when I was left with nowhere to go, I was afraid but I wanted to save them from this insanity. Two adults that they were, succeeded in pushing me away and left me bruised and wounded in my mind. The only thing I could do was to run away from there… The society that cared for us never before suddenly started showing up in an attempt to prove that we needed their help. My friends at school over whom I proved by muscle strength, ridiculed me for not having proved my mettle at home. My maternal uncle( mother’s brother) who was my hero till then for the various weight lifting championships he had won, now questioned me on my not being able to stop these two adults from creating that scene. I had nowhere to go, taking pride in being a Man in the making; I could not cry and confess my inability to deal with the situation. From here on started a journey of my mental inability to be in a situation and face it.

Years passed by, the complexities increased and I would always become that small child who wanted to run away in the event of any problem. I began to isolate myself from people and not let anybody come so close to see my failures. I had a friend circle but I could not befriend anybody. I found that behaving harsh to people was the best way to drive them away and avoid any discussion what so ever. My Being did crave for love but I had no one close to express myself. I fell prey to my own mind’s tactics which asked me to throw tantrums and gain attention from my near ones. I would feel good when I was not myself and lost in the arms of someone who cared for me. This was not possible while being conscious for I knew I was not worthy love. My mind started playing a game of acting harsh when conscious (to avoid intimacy) and giving in to love showing helplessness with the help of my new found support, Alcohol! Alcohol helped me lose myself and thereby giving me time not having to respond to any situation. My inability with words always helped me to remain isolated.

I was making these choices but did not want to know them as a truth lying in front of me. I was and am in denial. Today, the world does not let the bruised child cry and so I have a heavy heart with so much to say and unburden but do not know how? I want to be close to my wife whom I love but cannot help running away for I would get belittled if I were to bare myself in front of her…Alcohol gives me no respite, my career going nowhere, I never built a personal life…Right now I am in the arms of the almighty, trying to pick up a new thread of life but I am scared, will I hold it this time?