Loving differently-Happy Valentine’s

More often than not people around us tell us that we need to find love in people who satisfy certain ‘normal’ conditions of religious upbringing, caste, color, community, social status, gender orientation etc etc.

This post is dedicated to every person who has had the courage to recognize love in themselves and in another beyond the peripheral differences, be it for a day, a month, a year or an entire lifetime. Happy Valentine’s Day!

To some people who ask, how we came to be? I say:

S(he) and I existed in two separate worlds or so it appears to be.

Born in lands rooted in the same Earth but torn apart by dotted lines

Raised in different religions and different cultures

One would think what common could there possibly be?

Life placed us together in a time/space co-ordinate

Strangers we were, united by forces we couldn’t see

We talked about the beauty of our lands & the pain created by wars

We talked about the one God who gave us all different paths

We let love guide us into these uncharted territories.

In a world where fear, greed and lust reign supreme, we challenged each other to face our demons and be the best we could be

To some people who ask, how we came to be? I say:

How could I not be me?

How could you not be you?

In this universe where not much moves without grace, the ‘us’ that we are was not chosen by you and me.

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Valentine’s Day 2017

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Parallels between Vedic Wisdom and Western Psychology

In the past few years my interests have led me to dig up some info on psychology in the Western world and corresponding work in the realm of Eastern wisdom. In this blog I am drawing parallels between two Western Psychological models of understanding why we do what we do with the Eastern wisdom namely from the Vedas about the Energy Centers which exist in us connecting us to the larger whole. Let’s dive in!

Tony Robbins’ Human Needs Psychology teaches us that we as human beings have the following six needs:

  • Certainty – Our need to feel safe, comfortable and having a sense of control.
  • Variety- Our need for adventure, pleasure, fun, spontaneity.
  • Significance- Our need for achievement, a sense of accomplishment and recognition.
  • Love and Connection- Our need to feel loved and establish relationships, feel a sense of connection with others.
  • Growth- Our need to feel that we are learning, growing in different areas of our lives.
  • Contribution- Our need to give back without expecting anything in return, to make a contribution, to have a sense of purpose larger than us.

As per Human Needs Psychology, most of us spend our lives focusing on the first four needs but it is the fifth and sixth that bring us the true fulfillment we are looking for.

Maslow’s hierarchy of needs:

  • Physiological – Our need for food, water, warmth.
  • Safety- Our need to be secure and safe.
  • Love/belonging- Our need to have intimate relationships, friends.
  • Esteem- Our need for prestige and a feeling of accomplishment.
  • Self-actualization- Our need to achieve our full potential including creative pursuits.

The first four needs are categorized as deficiency needs ( we get motivated to fulfill these when they are denied to us or are unmet) and the 5th one is our need for growth ( these become stronger the more we engage in them).

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Journeying between the East and the West

As per the wisdom of the Vedas, a human body has the following 7 energy centers:

The human body has seven different energy centers which are called Chakras in Sanskrit. Chakra translates to a wheel. These energy points spin in order to receive and give out energy. Each center governs a certain aspect of our life and organs in our body. Chakras are healthy when they are clear and moving in the clockwise direction. Most of us have more than one that aren’t functioning optimally at a given point in time which point us to our challenges/areas of improvement which are recognized as patterns/themes. The best part is that you can simply intend/visualize a chakra to be moving clockwise and it begins spinning in the right direction. Of course, there is an entire field of Energy Healing dedicated to balancing the chakras and one may need that depending on how blocked they are.

  • Root Chakra/Muladhara – Muladhara translates to Root Support Located at the base of the spine, this chakra is red in color and represents the Earth element. This corresponds to safety, security and longevity.
  • Sacral Chakra/ Svadisthana – Svadisthana means sweetness.Located between the root chakra and the navel, this chakra is orange in color and represents the water element. This corresponds to feelings, sensuality and reproduction.
  • Solar Plexus Chakra/Manipura – Manipura means a lustrous gem. Located between the navel and the sternum, this chakra is yellow in color and represents the fire element. This corresponds to power, will and courageous action.
  • Heart Chakra/Anahata- Anahata means unhurt, unstruck, unbeaten. Located in the center of the chest, this chakra is green in color and represents the air element. This chakra is the bridge between the lower three and the higher three chakras. This corresponds to selfless love , balance , relationships.
  • Throat Chakra/Visuddha- Visuddha means pure place. Located between the heart and third eye in the center of your throat, the color of this chakra is turquoise and represents the element of sound. This corresponds to speech, communication, true purpose.
  • Third Eye Chakra/Ajna- Ajna means command. Located above the eyebrows in the center of the forehead, this chakra is indigo in color and represents the element of light. This corresponds to clarity of vision, intuition or pure knowing.
  • Crown Chakra/Sahasrara- Sahasrara means thousand fold. Located on top of the head, this chakra is white/gold in color and represents the element of space. This corresponds to our connection with a higher power, intelligence.

Root Chakra corresponds to the needs for Certainty/Physiological/Safety.

Sacral Chakra corresponds to the need for Variety.

Solar Plexus Chakra corresponds to the need for Significance/Esteem.

Heart Chakra corresponds to the need for Love/Connection.

Throat, Third Eye and Crown Chakras correspond to the Growth, Contribution and Self Actualization needs in the two western models.

Drawing parallels between the first four chakras and the western models is an easy match to perform.  It is the higher ones that need some explaining. Maslow’s Self-Actualization and Tony Robbins’ Growth and Contribution needs correspond to the 5th -6th and 7th energy centers.  These energy centers when functioning well connect us to the bigger picture where we can see how our challenges and struggles can be used to help others, where we feel rooted in our authenticity and speak out truth, where we engage in activities where our life actions benefit others around us. This is where one moves higher up from the needs of the ‘I’ and being self centric to serving a larger good.

If anyone of the 5th , 6th and or 7th are blocked, one may not be able to feel fulfilled in these areas- perhaps one can see (6th) the bigger picture but is afraid to speak the highest truth (5th) for the want of losing someone’s approval in the process. The 7th one is our connection to the universe’s big data, to the universal intelligence.  Speaking your truth also entails recognizing the areas you need help with which is a pre-requisite to any kind of growth to occur.  The 6th energy center provides us with the ability to visualize and use our intuition to conceive bigger ideas which is enhanced once your 7th is open to receiving from the universal intelligence.

This is one of my posts that I have had fun writing..hope you had fun reading it! One can approach healing/growth from any direction using any method one is drawn to. The key is that you need to be able to feel the difference. Combination of more than one method at a time works great too.

In order to learn more about Chakras, I recommend you visit http://www.deborahkingcenter.com and or read the book Truth Heals by Deborah King.

U.S. Election cycle of 2016-my takeaways.

“Hillary doesn’t come across as a strong candidate because she isn’t very dynamic and doesn’t have radical ideas for change. She wants to continue on Obama’s legacy whereas Trump is all about shaking up and bringing in change.” My father’s words rang in my head last night while I was watching Hillary Clinton’s last rally in Philadelphia. I was looking at the Obamas and HRC together and I said to myself, What’s wrong in a picture where power comes from a shared source?  In my humble opinion it’s time for people to honor and understand the collaborative aspect of power in addition to the existing aggressive individualistic concept. An individual can make a difference but real change can only be impacted as a system. Collaboration being a feminine ideal perhaps struggles to find its voice in our masculine competitive view of the world. We need a healthy balance of both to thrive. Assertion is needed to raise issues and collaboration to find solutions.

For someone who has kept herself aloof from politics, I must say that this election cycle has taught me a thing or two and I am writing this blog to share what I have learned.

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US Election 2016-Climax time

The 7 things that stood out to me during this election cycle were:

  1. This election had two candidates who hit the core of our hearts and conscience. Their mere existence asks you, ‘What are you made of?’ – Is your baseline marked by love or by fear?
  2. Emotion trumps rational thought process unless we as human beings use our highly prized ability to discern. Emotion provides us with instant data of what lies beneath and we can choose what we would like to do with this data. Being aware would be the first step.
  3. A message that is hammered long enough around you can become a belief. Constant flow of visuals through media influence what you focus on. What you focus on consistently becomes You.
  4. Collaboration is perceived to be weak and aggressive competitiveness is perceived to be a winner’s attribute. This very notion goes against biology and physiology where every element works in tandem with the other. Can you imagine any single organ of your body being able to function optimally if something else in the system is compromised?
  5. You need to blow your own trumpet. If you boast enough about yourself, your followers will emerge. This is perhaps what social media helps you with. To find and connect with your audience.  A case in point is Bernie Sanders’ campaign whose authenticity and passion resonated with millions.
  6. We need our leaders to be flawless. We can’t tolerate imperfections in the people whom we choose to put high up on a pedestal. Is this even possible? I think this only allows for us mortals to sin without guilt because we aren’t up there. We need to let them be human beings who can err.
  7. You cannot focus on what you don’t have or have lost and expect to become great again. It’s similar to how one cannot focus on disease and expect to become healthy. Disease can be used as a pointer/indicator and only a vision of health can move you towards wellness.

Affirmation- My Best Life

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My Best Life

New Hampshire

 

Affirmation- My Best Life

I am living my best life, right here, right now.

I intend and life provides.

I take the required action in faith when guided to do so by my divine intuitive self.

I love life and life loves me back.

 

Pooja Joshi

I held back..

I held back, not wanting to feel. I held back, protecting my innocence and my purity.

I held back, fearing the wrath of emotion. I held back, forging a defense.

I held back when I was happy and I held back when I was sad.

I held back until you touched me and scattered my being into pieces.

Shredding all the pain, all the grief, I stood beside my broken light.

I hold back no more and have begun to flow uncontrollably.

I hold back no more and allow my heart to feel it all. The pain, the hurt, the joy and the love.

Encircled in your light I stand in all my might.

Thank you and the you that has found its place in me.

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Nature heals

‘I’ ness to ‘We’ ness

‘We’ ness i.e. Inter-dependence is a stage where I believe I am today and I still am a work in progress. For most of my 20’s I have been independent in terms of earning money and making life choices based on what I deemed was right for me. Although it sounds great I believe while I was being independent I missed out on some valuable suggestions and advice that was being offered to me at that point. This period covers a few odd times when I would allow people whom I considered to be mentors nudge me towards a certain path. And that was just that. I have mostly been a person who did things based on what she ‘felt’ was right for her.  I believe it is certainly a much needed attribute while you are finding yourself and creating your sense of identity. Being autonomous is certainly a trait that most people in the Mental Health field would admire in anyone.

Following your journey as a child in a average Indian middle class family, you would be lucky if elders were even remotely interested in hearing what you had to say. Elders are meant to be respected and they ‘knew’ it all. I was fairly lucky because my parents did allow me a certain amount of freedom to decide for myself. Given this socio-cultural context, a lot of children do struggle to become truly independent. I believe I did attain a slightly above average level of autonomy which has helped me until today.

As life would have it, the past few years I have been presented with situations where if

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Autumn

I had chosen to continue to be this self-deterministic person, I would have lost some good job opportunities or relationships. There was a point where I had to learn to truly receive inputs from the people around me.  Spiritually I see it as growing beyond the sense of “I” into a secured sense of “We”. It is stage where you are so secured in who you are that you can listen to others even if they have opposing views or suggestions that do not favor your ideologies. This is also something that one can learn only through relationships and through the act of ‘relating’ to another.

Being inter-dependent is being able to accept support from others when you need it and not being this stubborn strong willful person who simply wants to show others that he/she can survive alone. Being able to reflect and introspect is definitely a quality one needs to be able to admit that he/she was wrong. This also has a lot to do with you being able to trust someone else to have your best interests in his/her mind. You begin to see that you are not alone and that you are not meant to be. Even from a spiritual standpoint we all are connected but it becomes a tad bit difficult to grasp it in the human form when egos get involved in the process.

For me the first step towards acknowledging inter-dependence began with me admitting when I was wrong and accepting another way of looking at or doing something. This stage is also honestly freeing in a way that you are not supposed to be the ‘know it all’, you can ask for help and inputs. Like many other things, it is a change and our egos resist it for as long as possible. There is tremendous richness in being able to draw from this connectedness/togetherness/inter-dependence. It is a space where you continue to be YOU at the core and are able to truly appreciate another’s presence.