When was the last time you tried your best to salvage an already broken relationship? OR made some offers to an employee who had decided to leave the corporate world for good but YOU wanted him to be there…Even in a tricky situation like an ailing person on the anvil of death who wants nothing but peace to breathe the last few moments, we try and hold on. Why do we do so?
In work or personal relationships it is difficult for us to let go off a person. Many a times in a marriage when two people cannot even bear to see each other eye to eye, they HOLD ON and claim that they are salvaging the sanctity of the institution of marriage. At work, if a person clearly declares his choice of leaving, we again try to make him offers to stay back which may or may not be lucrative or worth a consideration. Whether he takes it up or not is an entirely different issue. The question here is why do we try to hold on?
One major reason could be the way we are brought up. If a person is independent and wishes to live life on his own terms, he is looked upon as person who does not care enough for the people around him. If two people in a marriage are not compatible, they cannot comfortably separate because of social stigma saying “ 2 people who seek divorce cannot really sustain a relationship” and hence can never make good parents if they separate. Whoever said that living under one roof was testimony to a healthy relationship and much healthier upbringing needs a new perspective.
Our concern then is the superficiality and not the core, we look at quantity and not quality. For example: Measure for a successful relationship whether work or personal is the no. of years one has lived or shall I say learnt to live with the other. However damaging it may be for one’s personal growth, a child between 2 incompatible adults is expected to live with them and abide by them. A person who wishes to leave the world in peace is forced in to the pains and further sufferings of getting into an Intensive Care Unit and being treated as another machine, simply because his family members who care for him cannot see him die but cannot even understand that every moment his death being prolonged is like living a million deaths at a time.
From the little experiences that I have had, I see that it is important to sustain but it is also important to let go when required. If we respect a person, we would also respect his decisions indeed. When we care for someone we would care for his wellbeing irrespective of whether we feature in it or not. One of my angels once said to me “ Love is never about holding on, it is more about letting go ..”
At the end of the day, this is what is evident even in nature. You can enjoy and cherish the beauty of things but cannot hold the thing on… try to hold a flower for more than a day or a butterfly, you can but there will be just the skeleton, the spirit gone…